The Trough of Love
When I was 17, I suffered my first heartbreak. At the time, I thought the pain would never end. I couldn't be consoled and I spent a week and a half solid crying non stop. I cried until, in an act of desperation, I took to my pen and copybook. I flicked through my English school book until I found an exercise that spoke to me. I was sick of crying and wanted a distraction.However, what I recieved was far more valuable than any distraction, I got liberation, relief and satisfaction. Half way through my tears were stopped and by the end I was smiling. The world was no longer ending, I was okay.
Relationships that make a world… and… the world torn like a circus: Write an article (serious or humorous) about the beginning and ending of a relationship.
Relationships can be very tricky. It takes two to make one, two to save one and one more to destroy it. Love can make the most vulnerable of us blind and the most manipulative of us thrive. However, we cannot function without human contact; as much as some of us would rather shut ourselves off.
Being in love can be one of the most elating experiences in life and becomes so much more wonderful when that love is reciprocated. The beginning of a relationship is the most exciting part. The first weeks are utter euphoria as concentration on anything that doesn’t concern your new love goes out the window. Whenever they cross your mind your heart races, you can’t seem to eat for fear of throwing up those butterflies you must have swallowed and you can’t sleep unless it is in their arms.
Then there’s the thrill of discovering all the little things that you have in common and the tricks you pull to make yourself believe those common interests truly matter; like the song you both like, or the favourite colour you share. You determine his quarks and what turns him on; while strolling hand in hand, you act as though you aren’t paying much attention to his rambles, while all the while; listening intently so you can surprise him with that bottle of cologne he wears.
Your first kiss is a moment you will always remember; be it while sitting on the beach on an August afternoon, as the sun warmly caresses your skin or while sitting on a bench on a bitter Christmas Eve, as the snow gently falls on you: This night was made for us.
The relationship continues on, both falling deeper in love, however as it is in many cases, one falls harder than the other.
The relationship changes, not for the better or worse, you still obsess over him, but grow more comfortable in the relationship; this is where you need to stop and think and ask yourself, “Should I keep opening up and risk being wounded or should I back off?” This is where you need to assess the reality of your relationship; however, where love is concerned, reality and logic rarely come into play. For a lot of us, self-denial or our imaginations lead us to believe that we are wanted and valued, when we are not appreciated for who we are. It can overwhelm and blind you to the harsh, cutting truth, it can make you believe that you have found “The One”; or perhaps it is his manipulative nature that makes us vulnerable. On the face of it, to the world he showers you with gifts and sweetness, while privately he eats away at your confidence with cruel jibes and offhand insults.
At this stage we become so consumed with passion and longing that we are blinded to the sharp cracks forming; inevitably making us the creators of our own destruction. Or perhaps, we are but an innocent bystander and it is the interference of a third party that is the cause of the unfaithful demise.
Whatever the factor involved, the ending of a relationship is soul retching when one person is still in love. It comes with the same intensity of emotion at the begining but replacing unrelenting euphoria with excruciating pain and suffering. The depression of a breakup can be so severe that you feel as though happiness is lost for eternity and you fall asleep at night, dreading the new day which will bring with it, the same old feelings of despair and hopelessness.
Of course, the great thing about technology is that instead of being a decent human being, you can hide away behind a handheld screen and shatter somebody’s heart and soul without the fuss of causing a hysterical scene. As much as technology has evolved though, sadly, the cheesy clichés still remain the same.
“I do love you but it’s changed.”
“It’s not you, it’s me”
And my favourite one when he is trying to put it off and string you along
“I need time to clear my head.”
Even though he crushed you to the brink of existence, you want him back so badly, you are willing to simply forget the lies, the abuses, the cheating; you are willing to throw away all self-dignity and beg and plead to take you back.
Perhaps those who shut themselves off for fear of getting hurt have it right? Is it truly better to have loved and lost, than never having loved at all? Is it really worth the risk of being wounded; being left lost, broken, hopeless and lonely? Though those who shut themselves out are often left feeling lonely, is it really better not to taste the sweet of fruit of love; at the risk of being poisoned?
Honestly, I would have preferred to not have been tempted by the fruit; I was tempted and I gave into unquestioningly. However I did learn some valuable lessons on human nature.
Despite knowing the searing pain I will endure from a broken heart; I, just as most of those around me, will throw caution to the wind and will gorge on as much fruit as possible.
© Sarah O’Regan
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